It's OK to Ask "WHY?"

All of my life I have been under the impression that we "do not question God".  But today I realized that my mindset about this was wrong.  Even Jesus himself asked “why?” when he was suffering on the cross. (Matthew 27:46) 

As I lay in my bed this morning, pouring my heart out in anguish to God and shedding every tear my body could produce, I did the unthinkable:  I asked Him “WHY?”.  “Why did my friend, who loved her family so much and was such a sweet, wonderful person, have to die? Her children need her!  There are mothers out there who abuse their children (that they never wanted in the first place) and they get to live. Please, Lord, help me wrap my brain around this.  I just don’t understand WHY.”

And guess what?  He didn’t get mad at me. He didn’t strike me down.  He answered me…in a way that I could totally understand and relate to through my relationship with my children.  He reminded me that He is my father.  He loves me just like I love my children and He parents me like I would parent my children.   

Then I began to contemplate and understand the comparison…Sometimes my children are going to ask me “why?” when I make a decision that they don’t like or understand.  Most of the time I can give them an answer, but sometimes I just have to say, “Because I said so.”  They may be upset at first, but they eventually get passed it because they trust me.  They know that I love them and they know that I would do anything for them.  They know that I have their best interests at heart, even if they can’t see it.    And when I say, “Because I said so”, they can move on and accept that I know what is best.  In the long run, they may even look back and understand why I made that decision at the time.

There was my answer.  “Because I said so.”  It may not have been the answer I was looking for, but I can accept that answer because I understand how very much He loves me and that He would do anything for me.  I know that He always has my best interests at heart, even if I can’t see it.  I can get up and move forward with the understanding that He knows what is best. 

What a blessed assurance to know that it is OK to ask my Heavenly Father “why?” and believe that He will lovingly answer and give me peace.  And you know what?  He will do the same for all of you.  Jesus said this right before he returned to Heaven, “But the Advocate (the Comforter), the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”    John 14:26-27 NIV

This side of Heaven, we may never know the answers to all of the why’s…but we can know the One that holds all of the answers.  

 “Pain, tragedy and death will come. But joy, comfort, love and peace have already won.  So many things in this world, we just can’t comprehend. But our Father always knows what’s best, so we have to trust in Him.”  (from the song, It’s OK to Ask Why)

Manipulative Women of the Bible: Eve

One rule.  That was all that God had given Adam and Eve.  They were living in Paradise without a care in the world.  God had provided everything that they needed; but He had also given them free will, which included a choice (if there is not a choice to obey or disobey, then free will doesn’t exist).  Some might say that God was being “mean” when he put that one rule into place. That is not the case at all.  He designed man with free will so that he would choose to love Him, not be made to.  Any parent knows that if you have to make your child love you, it’s not really love.       

So here we find Eve in Genesis 3. She had everything: a beautiful home, a perfect body, a gorgeous husband, a relationship with God…a seemingly perfect life.  But she wanted more. (Do you know anyone like that?)   Satan planted that seed in her mind that there was more out there.  So she began to check out the “forbidden tree”.  She walked around it.  She looked at the fruit.  She saw that it looked tastier than the fruit that she had been eating.  Maybe she was bored with her mundane life and was looking for excitement. 

So began the temptation of something new.  Something exciting.  Something that would make her life better.  God knew what she was doing.  He saw her looking at that tree.  He knew her thoughts.  But she had free will.  Satan knew what she was doing, too.  He saw his plan was working and it didn’t take much convincing on his part to get her to do the forbidden.            

But it wasn’t enough for her to take part in the sin.  She had to pull her husband in with her.  How do you think she did that? 

“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”  Gen 3:6 NLT

From experience, I know that there are ways that I can get my husband to do just about anything that I want him to (you women do not need an explanation of that!). I will venture to guess that Adam was the same way.  Eve was the most beautiful woman that ever lived (and she walked around naked all the time), one bat of her eyelashes and Adam would have done anything she asked. God put that desire in Adam for his wife, but He did not intend for Eve to use it against him. 

The repercussions of this original sin will never end until the world is destroyed.  That one act has affected every other human being that has lived since then. 

“Then he said to the woman, "I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you. " And to the man he said, "Since you listened to your wife and ate from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat, the ground is cursed because of you. All your life you will struggle to scratch a living from it. It will grow thorns and thistles for you, though you will eat of its grains.  By the sweat of your brow will you have food to eat until you return to the ground from which you were made. For you were made from dust, and to dust you will return." - Gen 3:16-19 NLT

What should we learn from Eve?  First of all, look around you.  If you have a good life, do not let satan put thoughts in your head about what you are missing out on.  Be content with the blessings that God has already given you.  If He wants more for you, He will provide it.  Focus on what you DO have and not what you are missing! Count your blessings and you WILL find happiness.

Second, just because something is permissible, does not mean that it is beneficial.  God placed the fruit where they could get to it; it was there within their grasp.  But He had told them that it would cause their death.  The bible warns us of MANY things that we should avoid because they will lead to death and destruction.  Learn from Eve!  Don’t do those things that the Lord has warned against.  He loves you and wants better for you!

"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything. - 1Cor 6:12 NIV

And finally, DO NOT use desire to manipulate others into doing what you want.  Many men (and women, too) have been led astray and pulled into a pit of sin because someone used their desires against them.  A man’s desire for his wife (or a woman’s for her husband) is a God given gift.  (Ask someone who doesn’t have that…they will tell you what a wonderful gift it is.) We should never use that gift to control our spouse or lead them into sin!    

Manipulative Women of the Bible: Introduction

Several weeks ago we began a bible study on Sunday nights in the Youth Room that I named, “Characters Welcome”.  We started in the beginning with Genesis and have been studying the people of the bible.  Currently we are in Genesis 40, in the middle of Joesph’s life.  So far, I have seen quite a terrible pattern among the women that we have studied!  They were very manipulative!  So I decided to do a little further digging into these women’s lives to see what we can learn from their behavior…kind of a “what NOT to do” series. 

Before we begin, first we have to understand what type of manipulation I am referring to.  According to Wikipedia.com, “Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the perception or behavior of others through underhanded, deceptive, or even abusive tactics.”  As we will see, the women that we are going to look at used psychological manipulation on their husbands to get what they wanted.  Some of them were trying to help God out…which is what I think many women today still try to do . 

As we look into the lives of Eve, Sarai (Sarah), Rebekah and Potipher’s wife, we will see the effects of their manipulation.  I pray that we, as women, will guard ourselves from becoming so overwhelmed in our selfish desires that we try to manipulate others to get what we want. 

Looking forward to sharing with you!  Feel free to let me know your thoughts!            

TEAR DOWN THESE WALLS: The Story Behind the Song

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”  What a lie!!  We say this to our children but it’s just not true.  Words hurt: verbal/ emotional abuse can cause as much or maybe even more damage than physical abuse, but unlike bruises, the pain is hidden behind a self-made wall.   

“Verbal abuse is described as a negative defining statement told to the person or about the person or by withholding any response thus defining the target as non-existent. If the abuser doesn't immediately apologize and indulge in a defining statement, the relationship may be a verbally abusive one.” Wikipedia.org

There are so many people walking around with a smile on their face, pretending that everything is “ok”, when inside their hearts are broken and scarred from verbal abuse. “You are so stupid!”  “Can’t you do anything right?”  “You will never get a boyfriend/girlfriend looking like that!”  “Hey you butterball!  Why don’t you go on a diet?”  “You are so lazy.”  And these comments are nice compared to what most abusers say.  I could go on for days…but you get the point.   I have met so many people that live with verbal abuse every day.  We have no idea what goes on behind the closed doors of people’s homes.

Proverbs 12:18 NIV - "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

People who experience verbal/emotional abuse build walls around their hearts to protect themselves from the pain.  We see it so often with teenagers.  They are so hard to reach because the abuse that they have suffered from bullies at school or the adults in their lives have caused them to build such thick walls that it’s hard to get through.  Satan loves it!  The thicker the wall, the harder it is for that person to be reached by the light of Jesus.

Verbal abuse causes the victim to live in a dark prison where no light comes in, and no light goes out.  Even many Christians deal with this kind of abuse.  Walls hold the abused back from being everything that God wants them to be.  They have to realize that Jesus died for their freedom.  He DOES NOT want them to live that way.  They are meant for SO MUCH MORE!

So how do you escape from the prison you have built?  You make a choice not to let others determine your worth.  You make a choice to not let those words hurt you.  You pray for Jesus to tear down the walls and let His love shine through.  He can rescue you from your prison and He is big enough to handle your situation.

The chorus of the song is: “Tear down these walls, and let your love shine through.  I know that You can hear me, and you know just what to do.  I’m tired of being a prisoner, I can’t do this anymore.  Tear the walls down of my heart, I’m meant for so much more.”

Don’t be a victim anymore.  Don’t be a prisoner anymore.  The enemy has already been defeated.  Rejoice and let your light shine!!   

Psalms 64: 3-10 NIV  “They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their words like deadly arrows. They shoot from ambush at the innocent man; they shoot at him suddenly, without fear….But God will shoot them with arrows; suddenly they will be struck down.  He will turn their own tongues against them and bring them to ruin; all who see them will shake their heads in scorn.  All mankind will fear; they will proclaim the works of God and ponder what he has done.  Let the righteous rejoice in the LORD and take refuge in him; let all the upright in heart praise him!”

LET ME: The Story Behind the Song

On one of the rare Saturdays that I was actually at home, I was doing housework and listening to music.  As I stood washing dishes, for some reason I became so burdened for the lost. (Perhaps it was a song that I was listening to on the radio...)  The burden for me was this: I KNEW there were lost people surrounding me every day, but what was I doing to lead them to Jesus? 

In my little world I come into contact with so many: my family, my church family, my co-workers, those I see at my job, the teenagers I work with at church, my Facebook friends, people at the grocery store…Do they ALL see Jesus in me?  Am I living my life in a way that shows them that Jesus loves them?

"Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers."  1 Tim 4:16

Then the question in my mind was: What if I’m the only Jesus that some of them ever see?  I began to cry and I didn’t stop all day.  Every word of the song “Let Me” was poured out with tears.

Our job as a child of God is to show the lost the way to Him.  That job is the difference between everlasting life (in Heaven) and everlasting death (in Hell) for those that we are supposed to witness to. How overwhelming!

If we don’t love others and show them the way to Jesus, who will?  This world has gone so wrong; there is darkness at every turn.  WE HAVE TO BE THE LIGHT! 

"You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."  Matthew 5:14-16

But without Jesus, we cannot do the job we are called to do. The chorus of the song was a prayer from my burdened heart that day, “Let me hear them with YOUR ears, see them with YOUR eyes, speak to them with YOUR words.  Let me love them with YOUR love, bring comfort with YOUR touch, let me show them who YOU are.”

We cannot pretend that lost people don’t exist, they are all around us.  As hard as it may seem to love some of them, we are CALLED, it is our MISSION, to show the love of Jesus and to reach lost souls for Him.  I still cry every time I sing the song.  But, I am so thankful that the Lord has burdened my heart for the lost. 

Who will reach them before it’s too late?  My prayer is that we will all cry, “Let Me”!

"And then he told them, "Go into all the world and preach the

 Good News to everyone." Mark 16:15 NLT

The Definition of Love: The Story Behind the Song

My son, Cody, proposed to his beautiful girlfriend, Rebekah, in January 2011.   After they announced their upcoming nuptials, they told me that they wanted me to sing at their wedding (which was originally supposed to be May 2012).  And not just any song, they wanted me to WRITE a song just for them. No pressure!  A year and a half should be plenty of time to be inspired, right? 

Actually, I had not ever written a “commissioned” song before. The Lord had always just given me words and music whenever He felt like it.  I was a little stressed thinking about it because now I had to write a song with a deadline!  What was even more stressful was that they changed the wedding date to September 2011 – 8 months less time for me!!!

Over the course of the next six months, I tried to come up with a song that was special enough for their BIG DAY!  Finally, one night in June, I was home alone and was determined that I was going to write this song even if I had to stay up all night!  As I sat on my bed, I began to think, “What did I want my son to hear on one of the most important days of his life??  What marriage advice could I impart to them on their big day?”  As I racked my brain about what I could say, it hit me!  It didn’t matter what I had to say, it only mattered what the Lord had to say!  His advice was way better than mine! 

So I turned to the “LOVE” chapter in the bible, 1 Corinthians 13.  According to God’s word, what was the definition of love?  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”

And that is where the song “The Definition of Love” came from!  I added a chorus based on typical marriage vows and “BOOM” the song was done (I even got the melody that night, too and I didn’t even have to stay up all night!!!)  

Fortunately for me, the Lord placed an amazingly talented musician, Jason Grant, in my path that could hear exactly what I was hearing in my head for the music!  The original recording that we used for the wedding is what we used on the actual CD.

The wedding turned out beautiful…and so did the song!  Cody and Rebekah loved it…and I hope that you do to!

WHAT WE REALLY NEED: The Story Behind the Song

As I was preparing for one of our monthly ladies ministry meetings, I was pondering the topic that we were going to be studying for that month:  The Promise of Provision.   The Lord had been giving me a new song each month and I was praying for another one! My goal for this month’s song was to show that what we need and what we want are two different things. I began to think about the things that we need in order to live...of course there are the basics of food, water, clothing and shelter. Then there are the things we “think” we need…make-up, pedicures, manicures, hair-do’s, new clothes, new shoes, new cars, bigger houses…you fill in the blank.

As a songwriter (I think I can call myself that now?) I have learned to write about what I know.  Well, at that very moment, I knew I needed a dye job in a BAD way…my gray was shining.  And I knew that I had gotten my toes painted this really pretty teal color, but it did not really go with any of my shoes…and so from that thought process the first verse of “What We Really Need” was formed!  I wanted to show how silly we are with what WE think that our “needs” are. 

Now the second verse did not go the way I imagined that it would…the Lord took it to a different level.  Opposite from the first verse that showed how silly we are with our wants (that we insist are needs), the second verse shows that some people REALLY do need new hairdos, shoes, cars and houses…but for reasons beyond their control.  The woman fighting breast cancer and taking chemo does NEED hair, the homeless girl on the street does NEED new shoes, the old man that lost his home in a hurricane does NEED a new house, and the man whose wife left him for another man and took everything he had does NEED a new car…but are all those “things” what they REALLY need? 

The Lord showed me that no matter what situation we are in, FIRST we need Him.  Those worldly things will not mean anything if we do not have Him.  HE is our healer, HE is our provider, our rescuer, our comforter…we are to seek HIM first!  He gave us great advice on this subject in Matthew 6:25-33…

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in his entire splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

If we trust in Him, He will take care of ALL of our needs. The chorus of the song is this…”If you take a look around you’ll see that what you want and “think” you need will never be enough to satisfy.  The only way to find contentment in a world that’s so self-centered is to see beyond yourself and realize, that what you REALLY need is Him.”

I never intended for this song to be recorded! I definitely never even considered it for my CD!  But on the way to practice the night before we started recording, the Lord impressed upon me to put it on there.  When I originally sang it, I did it very slow.  But He changed that, too!  By the time I added the voice to the music, it had a Calypso beat complete with Bongos and a Ukulele!!!   It is a fun song that we had a great time recording.  (I even got to play the Bongos (thank you to Eli Hunt for the quick lesson!), listen for me at the very end!)   Even though the second verse deals with some sad situations, He wants you to know…He is ALL you need and if you have Him, you will be HAPPY!!!   

I don’t know who you are…but Jesus included this song on my CD just for YOU!!  I pray that you are ministered to and forever changed by it.