The Definition of Love: The Story Behind the Song

My son, Cody, proposed to his beautiful girlfriend, Rebekah, in January 2011.   After they announced their upcoming nuptials, they told me that they wanted me to sing at their wedding (which was originally supposed to be May 2012).  And not just any song, they wanted me to WRITE a song just for them. No pressure!  A year and a half should be plenty of time to be inspired, right? 

Actually, I had not ever written a “commissioned” song before. The Lord had always just given me words and music whenever He felt like it.  I was a little stressed thinking about it because now I had to write a song with a deadline!  What was even more stressful was that they changed the wedding date to September 2011 – 8 months less time for me!!!

Over the course of the next six months, I tried to come up with a song that was special enough for their BIG DAY!  Finally, one night in June, I was home alone and was determined that I was going to write this song even if I had to stay up all night!  As I sat on my bed, I began to think, “What did I want my son to hear on one of the most important days of his life??  What marriage advice could I impart to them on their big day?”  As I racked my brain about what I could say, it hit me!  It didn’t matter what I had to say, it only mattered what the Lord had to say!  His advice was way better than mine! 

So I turned to the “LOVE” chapter in the bible, 1 Corinthians 13.  According to God’s word, what was the definition of love?  1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails.”

And that is where the song “The Definition of Love” came from!  I added a chorus based on typical marriage vows and “BOOM” the song was done (I even got the melody that night, too and I didn’t even have to stay up all night!!!)  

Fortunately for me, the Lord placed an amazingly talented musician, Jason Grant, in my path that could hear exactly what I was hearing in my head for the music!  The original recording that we used for the wedding is what we used on the actual CD.

The wedding turned out beautiful…and so did the song!  Cody and Rebekah loved it…and I hope that you do to!

WHAT WE REALLY NEED: The Story Behind the Song

As I was preparing for one of our monthly ladies ministry meetings, I was pondering the topic that we were going to be studying for that month:  The Promise of Provision.   The Lord had been giving me a new song each month and I was praying for another one! My goal for this month’s song was to show that what we need and what we want are two different things. I began to think about the things that we need in order to live...of course there are the basics of food, water, clothing and shelter. Then there are the things we “think” we need…make-up, pedicures, manicures, hair-do’s, new clothes, new shoes, new cars, bigger houses…you fill in the blank.

As a songwriter (I think I can call myself that now?) I have learned to write about what I know.  Well, at that very moment, I knew I needed a dye job in a BAD way…my gray was shining.  And I knew that I had gotten my toes painted this really pretty teal color, but it did not really go with any of my shoes…and so from that thought process the first verse of “What We Really Need” was formed!  I wanted to show how silly we are with what WE think that our “needs” are. 

Now the second verse did not go the way I imagined that it would…the Lord took it to a different level.  Opposite from the first verse that showed how silly we are with our wants (that we insist are needs), the second verse shows that some people REALLY do need new hairdos, shoes, cars and houses…but for reasons beyond their control.  The woman fighting breast cancer and taking chemo does NEED hair, the homeless girl on the street does NEED new shoes, the old man that lost his home in a hurricane does NEED a new house, and the man whose wife left him for another man and took everything he had does NEED a new car…but are all those “things” what they REALLY need? 

The Lord showed me that no matter what situation we are in, FIRST we need Him.  Those worldly things will not mean anything if we do not have Him.  HE is our healer, HE is our provider, our rescuer, our comforter…we are to seek HIM first!  He gave us great advice on this subject in Matthew 6:25-33…

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in his entire splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

If we trust in Him, He will take care of ALL of our needs. The chorus of the song is this…”If you take a look around you’ll see that what you want and “think” you need will never be enough to satisfy.  The only way to find contentment in a world that’s so self-centered is to see beyond yourself and realize, that what you REALLY need is Him.”

I never intended for this song to be recorded! I definitely never even considered it for my CD!  But on the way to practice the night before we started recording, the Lord impressed upon me to put it on there.  When I originally sang it, I did it very slow.  But He changed that, too!  By the time I added the voice to the music, it had a Calypso beat complete with Bongos and a Ukulele!!!   It is a fun song that we had a great time recording.  (I even got to play the Bongos (thank you to Eli Hunt for the quick lesson!), listen for me at the very end!)   Even though the second verse deals with some sad situations, He wants you to know…He is ALL you need and if you have Him, you will be HAPPY!!!   

I don’t know who you are…but Jesus included this song on my CD just for YOU!!  I pray that you are ministered to and forever changed by it.

HE CARES: The Story Behind the Song

One Sunday night we were sitting in church and discussing how best to minister to the youth of our area.  One lady spoke up and said that many of our teenagers struggle because their parents don’t care about them or want them.  Most of their rebellion comes from trying to get attention.  In a small quite whisper, I heard a little girl on the pew beside me say, “My mother didn’t want me.”  She never looked up from the picture she was drawing, so I wasn’t sure if that was what I had really heard her say.  After the service I asked her to repeat what she had said.  Again, she said, “My mother didn’t want me.”   Not knowing any details of her life, I said what God laid on my heart to say.  I told her that even though she didn’t live with her birth mother, God had placed her in our church full of mother’s that would always love her.  I told her she was very blessed to be where God had placed her… 

When I got home that evening, our conversation weighed so heavily on my heart.  God has placed her in our church.  It is our job to show her that He cares about her.  How many little girls and boys in this world feel like no one wants them; that no one loves them or cares about them?   Those same little girls and boys become teenagers and start to act out to get attention.  Will we love them, or send them away?  Those same teenagers become adults with abandonment issues that cannot cope with loss because they have had so much already.  Will we console them and comfort them, or will we ignore them? 

This is where my heart was when I wrote, “He Cares”.    In the song, there is a little girl, a teenage boy, a hurting wife and grieving man needing someone to care.  The chorus gives the answer, “But what they can’t see and what they don’t know…is that they have someone who loves them, more than they could ever know.  He feels all their pain, He holds all their tears, and He wants to be their Father, He wants them to know He cares.”

But who will show them that He cares?  We are supposed to be His hands and feet.           1 Corinthians 12:25-27 NIV – “…its parts should have equal concern for each other.   If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.  Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.”  It is our job as the church to show them. The end of the song says, “WE have to tell them. WE have to show, that there is someone who loves them, more than they could ever know.  He will heal their pain, He’ll dry all their tears…and He will be their Father, He will be their Comforter, He will be their Everything…we’ve got to show them that He cares.” 

1Peter 5:6-7 NKJV – “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”

Marriage Takes Three

September 16, 1989…sometimes it seems so far away, sometimes it seems like only yesterday.  That is the day I married the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on!  He was not only easy on the eyes…he was the kindest, most generous man I had ever met.    We dated for a whole year and never even had one cross word.

We were so very much in love that we wanted to get married above all else.  So here we were, two eighteen-year-olds with love in our eyes and not one penny between us…starting our journey together. 

As a wedding gift, a lady from our church, Pat Green, gave us a poem.  I hung it on the wall of our bedroom and memorized it because I saw it every day.  The words of that poem spoke such truth into our lives.  The poem was titled “Married Takes Three”…

I once thought marriage,

Took just two to make a go,

But now I am convinced,

It takes the Lord, also

For not one marriage fails

When Christ is asked to enter

As two lovers come together

With Jesus at the center

But marriage seldom thrives,
And homes are incomplete,
Till He is welcomed there
To help avoid defeat.
In homes where Christ is first,
It's obvious to see,
Those unions really work,
For marriage still takes three.

Author Unknown

And that is the secret.  That is why so many marriages fail.  If it had not been for Jesus in our lives, I know we would not be married today.  But against all odds, and ONLY through the grace of God…these two 18-year-old, starry eyed teenagers created a great life together and raised two amazing children.

We had to learn to depend on the Lord and each other because we didn’t have anything else!  I will not tell you it has always been easy…but I will tell you it has always been worth it!  The Lord has blessed us with 23 wonderful years together and I pray He will give us many more!!