What Will People Think?

Why do we care so much about what other people think?  If we are truly honest with ourselves,  almost every decision we make is ran through that filter.  How we look, what kind of job we have, how much money we make, what kind of car we drive, where we live, how clean our house is, what our kids wear, how our kids act, what church we go to, what we say, where we go, who we talk to...even what we eat...we make all of these

 decisions based on what other people will think of us. 

We have created a society that is so judgmental about every little thing.  Now just one small mistake or one sin…even if the sin is only perceived to be true…can completely change everyone’s perspective of a person and an entire family.   This has caused great turmoil for Christian families, especially those in ministry.  Of course, as ministry leaders, we are held to a higher standard, but we are all imperfect people and we are going to sin and make mistakes.  Our children are going to sin and make mistakes.  Many times, this causes those of us in ministry to be so hard on our own children… 

because what will people think if our kids mess up????

      As I was praying one morning this week, I was thinking about all of this, and as I always do…I go back to the basic question, “What did Jesus do?”  Did He care about what people thought of Him?   Did He try to impress people with the way He dressed, the house He lived in, His job or how much money He made…or the church He went to?  Did He care about what the religious leaders thought?  Was He seeking approval from anyone on this Earth?  No, He only cared about what God thought.  And He made God proud… 

[Matthew 17:5 NIV] “While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!"

As I prayed, I was reminded that Jesus himself was born in scandal.

  [Matthew 1:18-19 NLT] “This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly.”

Why do you think God chose to come to Earth in this way?  Because He didn’t care what anyone thought!!  He knew the truth and that was all that mattered.   But Mary's becoming pregnant before marriage was great ammunition for the Pharisees against Jesus. She was labeled a fornicator and Jesus an illegitimate child.    I’m sure they brought it up every chance they got. 

    [John 8:40-42 NIV] “As it is, you are looking for a way to kill me, a man who has told you the truth that I heard from God. Abraham did not do such things. You are doing the works of your own father." "We are not illegitimate children," they protested. "The only Father we have is God himself." Jesus said to them, "If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me.”

The Pharisees were the “religious” people and they lived to judge and condemn.  They couldn’t even recognize Jesus because all they saw was the scandal of His birth, that He was poor and humble, and that He didn’t look or act they way THEY thought He should.   I pray that we are not guilty of being like the Pharisees.  Jesus had very strong feelings toward them…

read Matthew 23. 

  [Matthew 23:27-28 NIV] "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”

We all need to examine our hearts and make sure that we only do things out of love for our Heavenly Father, not to impress others.  The last time I checked, we are all human.  That means we are all imperfect…even people in ministry.  But… what if we all began to love people like Jesus did, and began to have tunnel vision like He did; only looking to the Father for approval…Oh, what pressure would be taken off of us!!!!! 

[1 Samuel 16:7 NIV] “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

The next time you start to worry about what “people” might think….take that thought captive.  We only need to worry about what Jesus thinks.  If you aren’t sure what He thinks…read your bible.  It holds all of the answers.    

Lily Pad

Yesterday, as I do every morning on my way to work, I passed by Boy Scout lake.  As I drove by, I noticed something very odd looking.  At first I thought that the water was covered with ducks.  But as I got closer, I realized that they were not ducks at all, they were dead lily pads.  These lily pads looked very different than the pretty green ones that had been there before.  They were dried up and black, not pretty at all.

 Since the beginning of our women’s ministry last year at church, L.I.L.Y. Pad Ministries, I have been more observant of these little aquatic plants whenever I see them.  When we started the ministry, the Lord had given our leader, Dorothy, a beautiful picture of how our lives relate to the lily pad. “We each have our own “lily pad” (our home) which is part of a “pond” (our churches and our community) which we are to impact for Jesus!” We all pictured ourselves as cute little Frogettes sitting atop our little lily pad homes. 

 

But what happens when the lily pad dies…when it shrivels up and disappears?  How do we keep that from happening?  How do we keep the enemy from doing what he lives to do….steal, kill and destroy.  No home, not even the strongest of Christian homes, is exempt from satan’s fiery darts.  His goal is to divide and conquer.  Nothing makes him happier than to see our homes destroyed and our families in turmoil.

  So how do we keep our lily pads alive and thriving?

The most vital requirement for a lily pad's survival is water.  

 The most important requirement for our family’s survival is the living water. 

[Jeremiah 17:13b NIV] “Those who turn away from you will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the LORD, the spring of living water.

Another necessity for the lily pad’s survival is sunlight.

  A necessity for our family’s survival is the light of the SON. 

[John 8:12 NIV] “When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

And without the roots of the lily pad firmly grounded in the bottom of the pond,

 it will not withstand the storms.

 Without our roots firmly grounded in the word of God, we will not withstand the storms of life. 

[John 15:6 NIV] “If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.”

There is only one thing that can keep our lily pads (homes) healthy and thriving…Jesus.  Let us not get so busy and stressed out in our lives that we forget that HE is our everything.  Our homes will not survive without the Water, the Light and Strong Roots.  

My Life-Changer

“There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs.”  My friend sent me this quote the other day.  My response was, “or maybe both.”  I have been blessed with so many amazing life-changers along the way, but one of the most important is my daughter, Maddie.  

 

From the moment she was born, she was so attached to me.  When she became toddler, she was my shadow.  Everywhere I went, she went.  Everything I did, she did.  Everything I said, she said.  (Cody, our oldest child, was never like that.  He was very independent, seemingly in his own little world.)  But Maddie...if I turned around too fast I would step on her.  I learned very quickly that I had better be a good example because there was

 this little person mimicking everything I did.

When she was about four, I remember her begging to come into my room while I was studying for a bible class that I was teaching at the time.  I would always tell her, “go play, Mommy needs to study!”  She would cry and say, “I will be real quiet.  I want to study, too.”  So I would let her in and she would have her little bible and notebook and watch me read and study, then she would pretend to read and study.  What a sobering moment.  I held the power in my hands to mold her into a strong woman of God just by modeling for her what that was.  After all, 

that is what my Mama had done for me.

When she started school, she was introduced to bullies.  Of course as a parent, your first response is retaliation.  When your baby comes home crying day after day, you want them to defend themselves.  One day in anger I said, “if she hits you again, you better hit her back!”   Do you know what her response was, “Mama, I can’t do that.  That is not right.”  Another sobering moment.  (Sometimes we hate when our kids speak our words back to us!!  )  But she was correct.  Retaliation is never the answer.  God is over the revenge department, not us.

[Romans 12:19 NIV] "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord."

Over the years, this has been the pattern.  When she gets upset or disappointed, my Mama Bear response is not always good or right.  But she has never faltered.  Her response may be different words than what her six-year-old self would say, but basically its the same meaning,

 “Mama, I can’t do that.  That is not right.” 

Now my baby is all grown up.  She is almost seventeen, and she teaches me something every day.  She is very strong.  She has an outlook on life that I have not seen in many people.  It’s like having the best version of myself looking back at me and reminding me of the good that I know to do.  What a gift!  Thank you,  Lord,  for my daughter.  She is definitely a life-changer, not only to me, but to everyone around her.   

      

 

     [1Peter 3:3-4 NIV] "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.  Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

'Twas the Night Before Homecoming

'Twas the night before homecoming and all through the south, 

Moms were up late frantically searching the house

for that one special trinket, and that ribbon they bought,

and the scissors that always seem to be lost. 

Every year we swear that "next year we'll do better!

We'll have this thing finished in early September!"

Though our fingers get burned gluing ribbons and lace,

the pain disappears when we see our daughter's face.

She will smile a sweet smile and say, "it's beautiful, Mom." 

Then we'll fall into bed...our work here is done!

So here's to all mothers making mums with such pride,

Happy Homecoming to all... And to all a Good Night!!!!!

 My beautiful daughter, Maddie,

sporting "the mum."

Marriage Takes Three

September 16, 1989…sometimes it seems so far away, sometimes it seems like only yesterday.  That is the day I married the most gorgeous man I had ever laid eyes on!  He was not only easy on the eyes…he was the kindest, most generous man I had ever met.    We dated for a whole year and never even had one cross word. 

We were so very much in love that we wanted to get married above all else.  So here we were, two eighteen-year-olds with love in our eyes and not one penny between us…starting our journey together. 

As a wedding gift, a lady from our church, Pat Green, gave us a poem.  I hung it on the wall of our bedroom and memorized it because I saw it every day.  The words of that poem spoke such truth into our lives.  The poem was titled “Married Takes Three”…

I once thought marriage,

Took just two to make a go,

But now I am convinced,

It takes the Lord, also

For not one marriage fails

When Christ is asked to enter

As two lovers come together

With Jesus at the center

But marriage seldom thrives,
And homes are incomplete,
Till He is welcomed there
To help avoid defeat.
In homes where Christ is first,
It's obvious to see,
Those unions really work,
For marriage still takes three.

Author Unknown

And that is the secret.  That is why so many marriages fail.  If it had not been for Jesus in our lives, I know we would not be married today.  But against all odds, and ONLY through the grace of God…these two 18-year-old, starry eyed teenagers created a great life together and raised two amazing children.

We had to learn to depend on the Lord and each other because we didn’t have anything else!  I will not tell you it has always been easy…but I will tell you it has always been worth it!  The Lord has blessed us with 24 wonderful years together and I pray He will give us many more!! 

I Am Not My Child's BFF

For some reason, my generation thinks that we should be our children's best friends instead of their parents.  I admit that it is a struggle for me.  My daughter is the one person in this world that is the most like me.  She thinks like me, acts like me and even looks like me.  I love hanging out with her.  We have the best time together! 

  But, God did not put me in the position of authority over her so that I could be her best friend.  I am her mother, and even though it kills me sometimes to do it, I have to say "no", I have to correct her and I have to punish her.  I have to train her to be a responsible adult.  I have to teach her and mold her into a strong Christian.   It is a huge responsibility.  

Watching some news clips yesterday, I was very shocked and saddened by Miley Cyrus' performance.   I felt really sick after I watched it.   I wondered how in the world little "Hanna Montana"  could produce such evil and disgusting behavior.   After a Google search this morning, I found this interview GQ did with her Dad in 2011.  Sadly, he saw all of this coming and felt powerless to stop it.

February 15, 2011, Billy Ray Cyrus did an interview for GQ magazine.  Here is an excerpt from that interview. 

“Billy Ray didn’t place all the blame on those currently in Miley’s life. There are also evil forces at work, he claimed. “Somewhere along this journey, both mine and Miley’s faith has been shaken,” he said. “That saddens me the most.”  

His family, Billy Ray argued, is now being ruined by Satan. “No doubt,” he insisted. “There’s no doubt about it.”  

And Billy Ray also held himself partially responsible for his daughter’s behavior. “How many interviews did I give and say, ‘You know what’s important between me and Miley is I try to be a friend to my kids’? I said it a lot,” he admitted. “And sometimes I would even read other parents might say, ‘You don’t need to be a friend, you need to be a parent.’ Well, I’m the first guy to say to them right now: You were right.” “I should have been a better parent. I should have said, ‘Enough is enough – it’s getting dangerous and somebody’s going to get hurt,’” he continued. “I should have, but I didn’t. Honestly, I didn’t know the ball was out of bounds until it was way up in the stands somewhere.”

Why did he feel so powerless?  Because his faith was not strong.  He admitted that his faith had been shaken.  I look around at Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and I see the young people in our area saying and doing evil things.  Many times, I feel sick when I see the things they post.  Sadly, many of their parents know that they are doing them, but for some reason will not stop them.  They want to be the "friend" and not the parent.  

WHY??  Because that is exactly what satan wants.  He wants us to feel out of control.  He wants us to believe we are powerless.  He wants us to sit back and watch as our kids spiral out of control.   He loves the attitude, "We did it when we were young, kids will be kids." STOP IT!!!!!  Enough is enough!!!!!  Don't let satan have your child. You are NOT powerless.  The same power that raised Christ from the dead lives IN you.  

 Romans 8:11-12 NIV - And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.  Therefore, brothers and sisters, we have an obligation--but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it."

Let's be parents.  It's getting dangerous, and somebody is going to get hurt.  

She Can Laugh at the Days to Come

I took a little break from regular Sunday evening services last night and instead attended a ladies meeting with my daughter-in-law, Rebekah, at her former church. We had a wonderful meal and then Rebekah's cousin, Amberly,  spoke to us about some things that the Lord was doing in her life.  

Something that she shared really spoke to me and I wanted to, in turn, share it with you. She told us about her friend that, when she first met him, he was so annoyingly full of joy that he just laughed about everything.  Even though she was working in ministry at the time, she just could not understand the way he responded with everything so light-heartedly.  At first, she was actually kind of offended that he could just laugh at life.   As a woman, especially a woman in ministry, she seemed to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders...all of her past mistakes, current issues, other people's pain...which is what we, as women, tend to do.

  She used our purses as an example;  we carry so much in our purses that we all have back pain trying to lug them around!  I don't know about you, but I never take time to clean my purse out.  It is full of all sorts of junk!  It's the same with our lives.  We tend to carry all of the hurt, pain, problems and issues from our whole lives around and never clean the junk out!

  What a burden! 

Jesus died so that we did not have to carry those burdens alone. He told us to give them to Him.

  "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

As she began to examine her own life, and why she did not feel that same joy as her friend, God showed her the things she was holding on to.  She began to search THE WORD for scriptures about healing and freedom. Then she cleaned out her "purse". She let things go.  She began to laugh again.  She found joy. 

 

Last night, she shared many of those scriptures with us.  Scriptures we could cling to and draw strength from.  I needed that.  I needed to be reminded that we have such freedom in Christ that we should have joy bubbling over!  (I just thought of an old song we used to sing as kids.  "Bu bu bu bubbling, bu bu bubbling, Jesus' love is bubbling over, Jesus' love bubbles in my heart"  (You have to do the finger snaps when you're singing this)     

(This is the only version of the song I could find on Youtube:    Jesus Love is Bubbling Over )

Thank you, Lord, for reminding me (through your servant Amberly) that you carry my burdens, you fill me with your love, you died for my freedom and I can laugh at the days to come!  

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come."  Proverbs 31:25 NIV