My Life Changer - Graduation Edition

“There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs.”  My friend sent me this quote one day.  My response was, “or maybe both.”  I have been blessed with so many amazing life-changers along the way, but one of the most important is my daughter, Maddie.   

 

From the moment she was born, she was so attached to me.  When she became a toddler, she was my shadow.  Everywhere I went, she went.  Everything I did, she did.  Everything I said, she said.  If I turned around too fast I would step on her.  I learned very quickly that I had better be a good example because there was this little person mimicking everything that I did.

 When she was about four, I remember her begging to come into my room while I was studying for a bible class that I was teaching at the time.  I would always tell her, “Go play, Mommy needs to study!”  She would cry and say, “I will be real quiet.  I want to study, too.”  So I would let her in and she would have her little bible and notebook and watch me read and study, then she would pretend to read and study.  What a sobering moment.  I held all the power in my hands to mold her into a strong woman of God by modeling for her what that was. 

 

When Maddie started school, she was introduced to bullies.  Of course as a parent, your first response is retaliation.  When your baby comes home crying day after day, you want them to defend themselves.  One day in anger I said, “If she hits you again, you better hit her back!”   Do you know what her response was?   “Mama, I can’t do that.  That is not right.”  Another sobering moment.  (Sometimes we hate when our kids speak our words back to us!!  )  But she was correct.  Retaliation is never the answer.  God is over the revenge department, not us.  "Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord." Romans 12:19 NIV

  

 

 

Now my little shadow has grown into an independent, strong, mature young woman. In just a few days she will be graduating from High School and then going away to college in the fall. This time in our lives is so bittersweet. It is sad because I will miss my baby, but it is also so exciting to see what God has planned for her future.  Having her for a daughter has definitely changed my life.  Knowing that she would pattern her life after mine has caused me to be a better Christian, a better mother, a better friend and a better wife.

 

 

 

 

Today, I want to encourage every parent that is reading this to remember that the eyes of your children are always watching you and learning from everything that you do.   If you want to have God-fearing, loving, obedient and respectful children you must be God-fearing, loving, obedient and respectful.  Children will not become who you TELL them to be, they will become who you SHOW them to be. 

 

 “Train up a child in the way he should go;

even when he is old he will not depart from it.” 

 Proverbs 22:6 ESV

A Mother’s Day Letter to All of My Children

I have the most amazing children:  Two that I gave birth to and one that became our daughter through marriage.  Words cannot begin to describe my love for them.  They are all different and they all contribute wonderful things to my life. 

To Cody, my precious son…I always tell people that you were our “guinea pig” child.  We had absolutely no idea what we were doing when you came along, but by the grace of God you turned out more amazing than I could have ever dreamed of.  I am so proud of the young man that you have grown up to be.   You are a wonderful husband, a great friend, a Godly example, a hard worker and provider and the best son in the world!  I know that you would do anything for us and that makes me feel so loved and cherished. And THANK YOU for marrying Rebekah.  She is the perfect woman for you…God definitely had His hand in that!   

To Maddie, my beautiful daughter…I know that all of your life you have felt that we were so much harder on you than we were on Cody, but we learned from the mistakes we made parenting him so we were much better at it when you came along!  I cannot tell you how proud I am of you.  You have come such a looooong way from that little girl who couldn’t let me out of her sight.  I looked back in one of my prayer journals the other day and it was filled with prayer requests for you.  God answered those prayers and gave me the desires of my heart…a strong, beautiful, independent and Godly young woman.   I admire the way that you stick to your standards that you have set for yourself and do not let anyone sway you.  Thank you for your obedience and the respect that you give to us.  You have always been someone that I look up to…even though I am the mom.  I am so excited to see what your future holds!! 

To Rebekah, my treasured daughter-in-love…from the moment Cody met you, he knew that you were the one for him.  I couldn’t have designed a better wife for my son.  You compliment him so wonderfully.  I love you just as much as if you were carried in my womb.  You are so loving and kind to us and I adore the way that you love my son.  Thank you for accepting us as your parents and being such a great daughter to us.   You are a Godly young woman and that means the more to me than anything. Our future grandchildren will be so blessed to have you as a mother!!  (And I know that the car accident that you both suffered through was terrible, but the good that came of it was the bond that was formed between your family and ours. We love them all so much.)  I am so proud to tell people what an amazing wife my son has! 

And to all of the children that we have had the privilege of being a part of your lives…our nieces and nephews, Chris’ baseball boys, friends of our children, and all of the teenagers that we have ministered to over the years…I love each and every one of you so very much.  I thank God that he allowed me to share in your lives.   I am honored that some of you still call me “Mom” (or Mommy) when you see me or talk to me.  I hope that you all know how much you mean to Chris and I and that we will always be here for you!

 

 

Thank you all for making me the richest mother on earth.  My heart overflows with love for you all!  I will have a Happy Mother’s Day because God has blessed me beyond measure.       

Red and Yellow, Black and White

 

Jesus loves the little children

All the children of the world

Red and yellow, black and white

They are precious in His sight

Jesus loves the little children of the world

 

I remember singing these words as a child.  I've thought about those words a lot lately.  Without going into detail (because I do not want to draw attention to any of these groups) it seems that racism is alive and well in our country and our town today.  Groups of every skin color and religion are spewing hatred for people that are different from them. I just do not understand how one human being can have hatred for another human being based solely on the color of their skin or what they look like on the outside. It is ridiculous really. The body that we are in is no different than a suit of clothing.  The only thing that matters is who we are on the inside of the suit.

 

 

 

  How absolutely absurd would it be for me to say..."I hate that guy because he is wearing a green suit.  I have never met him, but I hate him. And not only do I hate him, but I want you to hate him, too.  As a matter of fact, I hate anyone that wears a green suit."      

 

Ridiculous, right?  

 

And what is even more ridiculous? When people use God's word to promote hate.  My bible says that God created ALL human beings.  It also says that Jesus died for ALL human beings. 

And more importantly, it says this,

 

"There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.   If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham’s seed, and heirs according to the promise."  Galatians 3:28-29    

 

God is love.  He loves every person that he created. In fact, we are all created in His image.  He sent His son to die for us, that is how much He loves mankind.  And through our acceptance of the death of Jesus, we become brothers and sisters with one common goal.  

 

^" Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit."

Ephesians 2:19-22

 

Red, yellow, black or white we are ALL precious in His sight. Therefore, we should be precious in the eyes of one another. 

 

 

 

Straddling the Fence

During a sermon at church one day, our pastor talked about Christians who were “straddling the fence”.  This brought to my mind one particular afternoon in my childhood when my brother and I were out exploring behind our farm house.  There were barbed wire fences outlining all of the separate pastures, so to get across the fences we would take turns prying two of the prickly strands apart for the other to crawl through. This took patience and precision!  On this particular day, I let my brother through first and then he pried the strands of wire open for me to crawl through.  I carefully bent over at the waist and put one leg through, placing my foot on the ground on the other side.  As I attempted to pull the other leg through, I realized that my long pony tail was caught on the top strand and that I was stuck…I was literally straddling that barbed wire fence! 

 

 

 

 Now just imagine how uncomfortable that was being trapped there atop that razor sharp barbed wire with one leg on each side.  I couldn’t go back the way I came from and I couldn’t move forward to the other side.  Isn’t this just like the Christians that want to keep one foot in the old way of life and one foot in their new life with Christ?  They are stuck.  They cannot be fully surrendered to either side. 

 

 

Imagine that one side of this fence is the old sinful life…pre-salvation.  Sometimes newly converted (and sometimes not-so-newly converted) Christians try to hold on to their past lives of sin, even after giving their heart to Jesus.  But because the Holy Spirit is residing in them, they do experience conviction.  This makes it pretty miserable for them every time they slide back into their old ways.  As a Christian, going back to visit the sins of the past will never make them happy.  Therefore, they are not fully surrendered to sin. 

 

John 16:8 NLT “And when He comes [Holy Spirit], he will convict the world of its sin, and of God’s righteousness, and of the coming judgment.”

 

On the other side of this fence is a new life in Christ…post-salvation.  Many Christians see others that have peace and joy and seem to flourish in the Lord’s work, but they just can’t get to that place in their walk because the old familiar sin keeps them tied to their old life.  They are afraid of change; afraid to step over into the unknown.  Therefore, they are not fully surrendered to God.

 

Romans 6:22-23 NIV “ But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

 This is a very uncomfortable position to be in.  The bible tells us in Matthew 6:24 "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other.”  Christians straddling the fence are trying to serve two masters and they are miserable.  Why would anyone choose to live this way? 

As I crouched there that day, stuck between those strands of barbed wire with my hair holding me in place, all I wanted was to be free. I think that’s what “Fence-Straddling Christians” want too…they want to be free.  My brother was there to help me and untangle me from that fence.  He pulled me through to freedom on the other side.  I believe our job as Christians is to help our brothers and sisters get free. We need to stop judging and start praying…just as scripture instructs us to do.

I John 5:14-16 NIV “This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. If you see any brother or sister commit a sin that does not lead to death, you should pray and God will give them life.”

Are you straddling the fence, stuck between two lives?  Ask the Lord to rescue you today.  Move forward with Him and He will give you peace and freedom like you have never known. Or maybe you know someone that needs your help getting off of that fence?  Commit to pray for them today. Help them get untangled from sin by loving them and being a good example.  Freedom is waiting on the other side of the fence. 

 

50 Shades of What?

I first saw the title, “50 Shades of Grey” on Facebook a couple of years ago.  It seemed to pop up everywhere after that.  Now there is even a movie.   When I first saw it mentioned, I googled the title to see what all the fuss was about.  My face turned red just reading the synopsis. This is what Wikipedia stated, “It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM).”

Yes, you read that correctly. 

I have tossed around the idea of blogging about this topic several times, but something kept holding me back; I did not want to associate my name with the title of this book/movie.  I did not want anyone to even search for the title and read ABOUT the book or movie, much less read the actual book or watch the actual movie.  But someone had to say this and I guess it will be me. 

The fact that our society has embraced something like this does not surprise me, but the fact that Christians have embraced it shocks me to my core.  And even more heartbreaking… the fact that parents are letting their teenagers read/watch this.   Just thinking about what it could do to their still developing minds is very frightening to me.  I have read in several reviews where this series of books (and now the movie) is being called, “Mommy Porn.”  (Those are two words that do not go together.)

“This is not pornography, this is art,” you say?  

noun: pornography : printed or visual material containing the explicit description or display of sexual organs or activity, intended to stimulate erotic rather than aesthetic or emotional feelings.

50 Shades is most definitely pornography. Pornography in the form of a novel is still pornography…and this pornographic novel has sexual violence and emotional abuse as its theme.  We need to beware of what we approve of and make available to our children.         

“Pornography can reach out and snatch a kid out of any house today. It snatched me out of my house 30 years ago.…The most damaging kinds of pornography are those that involve violence and sexual violence. The wedding of those two forces brings about behavior too terrible to describe.” Ted Bundy on Dr. James Dobson, “Fatal Addiction: Ted Bundy’s Final Interview,” Video, Focus on the Family Films, 1989. 

The acceptance of this novel and the movie are just the end result of how satan has used the entertainment industry to slowly entice us into thinking that this is all good.  (Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter. Isaiah 5:20 NIV)  He has masterfully bombarded our minds with sexual impurity through media for so long that when something as damaging as 50 Shades of Grey came out…our society embraced it as healthy and fun.  In 2012,  author E.L. James was even listed as one of Time magazines’s   “100 Most Influential People in the World.” As Christians, that fact should disturb us immensely. 

 

With God, there is no “grey” area.  There is good and evil.  There is darkness and light.    If we are a true child of God and His Spirit lives in us, we know right from wrong.  We KNOW that we should not fill our minds with the immoral junk that the entertainment industry calls “art”.  We have to guard our hearts and minds and the hearts and minds of our children.     

“So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Have nothing to do with sexual immorality, impurity, lust, and evil desires.”  Colossians 3:5

If we as a society say this type of sexual behavior is not only acceptable but encouraged, we are creating our own Sodom and Gomorrah.    

“And don’t forget Sodom and Gomorrah and their neighboring towns, which were filled with immorality and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the eternal fire of God’s judgment.”  Jude 1:7

I am not writing this because I am claiming that I am so holy and have never watched, read or participated in anything that was not pleasing to God.  I am writing this because I have done all of those things, and I know the effects that they can have on the mind and on our witness and on our relationship with Jesus.  We have all fallen into the traps that the enemy has laid and have gotten entangled in various forms of sin, so we must remember these words from 1 John 5-10…

“This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.  If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.  But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.”

...and we must fix our eyes on things above...     

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”  Phillipians 4:8 NIV

Is the Grinch Stealing Your Christmas?

We all know and love the timeless Christmas classic,

 “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” 

 

 

 It’s the story of a disgruntled “Who” who was sick of Christmas and everything that went with it- the noise, the presents, the feasts, the singing, and just the pure joy of it all-so he decided to steal Christmas.  He wanted to take away everything that brought happiness to the Whos down in Whoville.

       

Do you know that we have a “Grinch” that is trying to do the same thing to our Christmas?  He hates the joy of it all and is stealing it away right before our eyes.  Jesus warned of this in John 10:10, “the thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

 

 

I have spoken with several people this Christmas season that have absolutely no joy.  Actually, they are frustrated and are dreading Christmas.  Their joy has been stolen by satan, the awful Grinch himself.  He has convinced them that Christmas comes from the store and if you have no money, you cannot possibly have a good Christmas.  He is a liar. 

    “He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.” John 8:44

Just take a look around you if you want to see how successful satan has been on his mission to destroy Christmas.  I guarantee that if you talk to 5 people, 3 out of the 5 will speak negatively of Christmas. The saddest thing of all is the fact that most of the negativity comes from Christians. We have lost sight of the true meaning of the season. 

Why do we celebrate Christmas?  Because JESUS, our Savior, was born.   He came down to this world, God in the flesh, so that He could become the sacrifice for our sins.  That sacrifice, if we choose to believe,

 buys us eternal life in Heaven with our Father. 

 

 The celebration of this amazing gift is the reason for the Christmas season.  Every time you take your focus off of Jesus and start worrying about how you will afford Christmas, satan does a happy dance.  Even he knows what this season is really about, that is why he tries so desperately to ruin it.

My husband and I have two grown children.  I bet if you asked either of them to name a gift that they received for Christmas in the past, they would have a hard time remembering.  What they CAN remember are the traditions that we upheld as a family each year, the food, the games, the Christmas movies, the love, the joy, the time spent with family, the songs of the season and the story of Jesus’ birth. These things produce a feeling of joy that will not be forgotten. 

   The author Maya Angelou once said,   “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  That is so true. 

 

 

This Christmas, don’t let the Grinch steal your joy.  Focus on Jesus and the gifts that He brings: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These produce memories that will last a lifetime.

 

“He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"

"It came without ribbons! It came without tags!"

"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."

"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

Taken from How The Grinch Stole Christmas by Dr. Suess

 

Where Are You Going, My Little One?

Where are you going,

my little one, little one?
Where are you going my baby, my own?
Turn around and you're two,

 turn around and you're four,
turn around and you're a young girl going out of the door.

Author: Recorded by Harry Belefonte, N. Griffith and K. Loggins



My daughter, Maddie - Senior 2014

 

Yes, another "last". 

Last Homecoming. 

My beautiful princess...

headed out the door.

 

 

I pray that today you feel beautiful,

because you're more beautiful

 than words can say.

I pray that today you feel cherished,

because you are...every minute of every day.

I pray that today you feel favored,

because you're a chosen child of a King.

I pray that today you feel blessed,

because you bless everyone you meet.

 

Love, Mom